如果丈夫出轨了,他的不忠会破坏婚姻,并给所有人带来强烈的情感痛苦。尽管有些妻子会不考虑和解,直接走出这段关系,但其他人愿意原谅,并向前看。要原谅出轨的丈夫,你们需要敞开来谈一谈,通过心理咨询、在需要时寻求帮助,从而努力构建信任和尊重。
步骤
部分
1
部分 1 的 3:
交流
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1
问清丈夫所有你需要知道的问题。有些妻子并不想知道事情的细节,但是如果知道以后能让你原谅和恢复,还是问吧。
- 努力关注情感问题而不是逻辑问题。比如,不是要问他们住了哪家宾馆,问丈夫为什么他决定出轨,这是有助于和解的健康交流方式。
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2
说说婚外恋对你的冲击。丈夫需要知道你受伤了、感到被他背叛了、难过、生气,或者任何在你心里积蓄的情感。
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3
听听你丈夫怎么想。他可能有自己的理由或者很后悔,悲伤,并对于自己必须给你讲这些感到厌恶。
- 创造双方都觉得安全的氛围,来相互倾诉感情,这样你们的婚姻才会向前走。
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4
允许自己表达情感。大哭大叫都可以,并可以理解。但暴力就不行了。
- 记住,如果你能听他说话,而不和他打架或者威胁离开的话,他会感觉好一些。
- 必要时给双方空间。如果你们开始争执,或者情感不受控制,暂时停止谈话。
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5
把事情说清楚,然后避免没完没了地反复就此事争执。如果你在后半生都谈论这件事,你会很难原谅他。
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6
用说话外的方式沟通。通过留字条,送花,并给对方空间表现你对婚姻的忠诚,这样就可以重归于好了。
部分
2
部分 2 的 3:
心理咨询
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1
询问丈夫是否想要进行婚姻咨询或者夫妻治疗。这对一些人适合,对有的人不适合,但是如果你想原谅他并继续走下去,值得一试。
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2
找一个处理夫妻不忠问题经验丰富的咨询师。
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3
寻找一种最适合你的生活方式和预算的模式。你可以一周拜访一次咨询师,周末静修或者参加帮助重建婚姻的培训课。
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4
为避免离婚拜访咨询师。如果你想原谅丈夫,并保持婚姻完整,要让咨询师知道这是你的最终目的。
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5
问问咨询师有什么关于阅读的建议。有一些好书是以如何原谅对方、并忘记过去的婚姻不忠为主题的。
部分
3
部分 3 的 3:
支持
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1
让好心的亲朋好友知道你正在努力原谅,并尽可能地拯救婚姻。这会阻止任何人建议你报复他,或者远离那些持不同意见的人。
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2
和亲密的朋友和家人谈谈你的感受。你可以讨论你的疑惑、痛苦和不确定,而不需要担心评价或者失望。
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3
从教堂和社区小组寻求帮助。你可以和同样经历的人谈一谈,并从分享经验中获得力量。
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4
关注原谅的原因。孩子、对未来的打算或者多年的回忆都会帮助你原谅他,并不再感到生气或者伤心。
小提示
- 给自己时间。原谅没有时间限制。有些人几天就可以原谅出轨的丈夫,而有的却得花几年。用足够的时间克服自己的情感、痛苦和害怕吧。